you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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