I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
