nut hugger
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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