i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
