No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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