So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
