I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
