and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
