He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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