People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize