I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
