apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
