He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
