you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize