Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
even my farts smell like vagina
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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