you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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