is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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