I wanna passion pit in your ass
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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