Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
