i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You ruined the universe
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize