He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
