if you like me you must not know who I am
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
