We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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