dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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