dude i'm inner monologue high
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
