he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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