guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
