Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
