So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
