He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
