Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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