Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
