IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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