..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
