Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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