Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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