He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
