She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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