WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
nutella sex= disaster
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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