What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Boobs speak an international language.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize