I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
