Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
