Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
