Can i not drive my cunt home
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
