i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
