I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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