Where is the hickey?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
