Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
