your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
