So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
