...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
