I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
