Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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