we're blogging at a bar
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize