so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
