Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
