Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
