i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
