How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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