Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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