are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
