we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
