am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
