the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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