3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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