Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
