Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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