I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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