I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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